HUMOUR ... JUST WHEN YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING IT ..




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Monday, December 27

Household Hints #1 (Pet Care)

How To Wash A Cat

1. Put the lid of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely, The Dog

Tuesday, December 21

"Houston...we have liftoff "



Monday, December 6

The honeymoon would have been a killer...

Scott Mckie and Victoria Anderson were married recently....briefly.
Billed as Britains least successful marriage it ended when 23 year old McKie was dragged from his own reception by police. The bride, enraged at a drunken toast to the bridesmaids by her new husband hit him over the head with an ashtray. he responded by taking a hat-stand and hurling towards the bar "like a javelin" according to witnesses.
When police were called, McKie headbutted one officer and punched another, at which point, his bride, Anderson,40, began divorce proceedings.





Well..that's it folks!..if you're not going to check out the archives it's time to close up and head home....thanks for calling !
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